Don’t make resolutions for 2021
It’s a blog post about the new year but the very last thing on my mind is making any resolutions.
Wait? Isn’t this a spiritual self-development space? Isn’t goal setting and evolution the cornerstone to your message?
Yeah, self-development and growth are integral components of Into-It, and my own personal evolution was the catalyst for starting this blog in the first place but hot take: I’m not making any resolutions for 2021. Mind you, I believe there’s a difference between goals + aspirations and resolutions, at least in the way I’m about to explain them. This way is sexier, and more achievable if you put your mind to it.
new ASPIRATIONS FOR 2021
If you’re looking for tips on building new habits, I have a few recommendations from my previous blog posts for you, this is a great list to start from if resolutions are your thing this year. These are also great habits + changes to start incorporating at any time, and you don’t need a new year to begin. I’m evidence, as I started investing in my new habits on a random Friday in April of 2020, with no other reason to do it than my own intuition telling me to act on it.
-Being more mindful in everyday life
-Embracing and thriving in your alone time
-How to stop living on autopilot
-Crafting a fulfilling + fun morning routine
-Building up a journaling routine
-Learning to naturally think more positively
-How to get out of your own way
-Learning to be more courageous
But back to the self-development hot take
don’t make resolutions
What I do not mean by this:
don’t have dreams
don’t have plans
don’t invest in yourself
don’t grow
don’t expand.
Is this confusing? I’m still hashing out the details myself, but I’ll do my best to explain.
In December of 2019, I made a concrete list of everything I would accomplish in 2020: tactile, obtainable goals with plans + steps + actions in place to achieve them. I went into January of 2020 hot-n-ready to accomplish all of these resolutions, to be a badass, to be the soul pioneer of my own life. I don’t have to tell you what really happened in 2020… yeah, life went from 100 to 0 overnight. Lockdown went into effect in my city during March, and everything I had promised myself I would accomplish + see + do in that year dissolved instantly.
At first, there was a blind optimism of how long a lockdown would truly last, and here comes the closing of December, still quarantining and putting my original set of resolutions on hold. Now everyone is telling me it’s time to make a new list, as I sat mourning the list I did not accomplish in the year that passed—quickly and glacially simultaneously, what a paradox.
In the new year's resolution culture, I technically failed. On paper, I made a list and did not check a single item off of it. And yet, this year completely changed my life—and yours too, I bet. I am exiting 2020 having experienced an amount of inner growth + spiritual expansion that is unlike any year I’ve ever lived. I have picked up self-care practices that have solidified my bond to my highest self + my authentic path, I have picked courage over comfort at every given opportunity, I have developed a resilience muscle that got me through well over 6 months of shadow work and inner conflict, I have began manifesting from my soul instead of my ego, and I have learned how to appreciate + create magic every day of my life.
None of these accomplishments were resolutions I set at the end of 2019. My resolutions, in hindsight, were entirely material gains. I applied value metrics to my own success, which came from my ego and the opinions of others, and decided that 2020 would not be successful if I did not obtain everything on that list.
Despite all we have collectively gone through, and the deep inner trauma I’ve been working to reprogram within myself, I would say 2020 was my most successful year. And it wasn’t what I did...what I bought...where I went...or any accolades added to my ego trophy shelf. 2020 was successful because of who I was, not what I did. How I felt, not what I produced. The love and support I received + gave, not the ego-influenced value metrics I reached.
Not setting resolutions for 2021 means that I won’t be making a “to-do” list. I’m making a “to-be” list. My aspiration for 2021 is to BE and to FEEL like the most authentic version of myself, who I aspire to be and to feel like.
Example
Resolution: “Work out consistently, X days a week resulting in X amount of muscle gain in X amount of time.”
But the intention + aspiration behind that goal is: “BE kind to my body + invest time in daily movement = FEEL healthier.”
Resolution: “Make X amount of money in X amount of time by pursuing X venture, investment, job, etc.”
Intention + aspiration: “FEEL abundant by BEING more focused on financial growth.”
When the language changes, and we aspire to be + feel a certain way, then we are co-creating reality with the universe...we are leaving room to be surprised, to be flexible, to be spontaneous. When our “resolutions” are concrete, backed by facts, there is no guarantee that life won’t just alter overnight (quarantine) and leave our goals immobilized. But if we set an intention for a feeling and be more like the version of ourselves that is in alignment with our intentions, then the way we achieve that feeling + state of being can become more abstract. This allows us to be patient with ourselves and our journey, to be able to pivot and not label ourselves or our dreams as failures.
This doesn’t mean there isn’t action involved, because in order to be in alignment with your intention (feel healthier, for example) you will need to become the version of yourself that is in alignment with that intention (a person who makes time for movement, for meal prep, for self care).
The idea here is that the action will change given the circumstances, but whatever makes you feel healthier via acting in alignment will be successful. The routine changes, but the intention (feeling) and the drive (aligned action) does not. So long as you’re focused on who you are becoming and how amazing that feels, you will not fail, and you’ll sustain these new aligned actions (habits) over a longer period of time—goodbye “gave up my resolution by week 2” narrative.
At the end of the day—year—this is really just a language + thinking shift, where doing becomes being and achieving becomes….becoming. My very first major lesson of 2020 was about the way we speak to ourselves and others creates our reality, so don’t go thinking that switching out words isn’t going to make a difference in your goals for 2021.
It is intention and inspired action that creates worthwhile change in ourselves and in our world. It is the desire behind the action that catapults us forward on our journey to grow. It is who we are at a foundational level that defines who we can become next. 2020 showed us just how much of life is out of our control, but that our intentions, our desires, and our thoughts + feelings + behaviors are entirely up to us. We co-create our reality with the universe, and the work begins within.
make your own to-be list in 2021
-Write out your resolutions in one column on a sheet of paper
-Rewrite each resolution through the lens of how it would feel and who you would be if you were in alignment with that “resolution”
-Scrap the resolutions and use the feeling + becoming column instead, use this list to drive what you do and do not act on in 2021, so that you are only cultivating things that you value for your authentic self in the year ahead.
Be - Do - Have
Be the person who feels successful, healthy, happy, etc - Do what that person would do to feel that way - Have your goal reached.
Before carrying out this exercise, I want to tell you that I’m insanely proud of you for making it to the end of 2020 and that you’re still willing to find growth + joy in the next year ahead. You are entirely capable of taking your own reality into your hands and to experience everyday magic in the year ahead.
Be sure to make a gratitude list before setting intentions for 2021. Don’t write-off 2020, not matter what you were served or how you feel about the outcome. You made it this far and that is enough.
I can’t wait to see who you’re becoming, so drop me a DM on insta and let me know how you want to feel in 2021, and who you want to be + serve + grow into.
Now go celebrate yourself, celebrate your loved ones, write that gratitude list, and set those intentions, baby!
Cya next year—ew gross, but I had to make the joke.