BAE: Practicing presence daily
Before beginning my own path of spiritual / self-development, I don’t think I was truly in the present moment unless an external circumstance called me into it. I would have moments, few and far between, where the present moment was beautiful, terrifying, or loud enough to rock me back into my body. It would be as if I was out in space, and something would catch my attention long enough to catapult me back onto earth. I know now that this way of being is reactive, and the result of living on autopilot.
Personally, when I succumb to my autopilot mode, it’s because I am feeling guilt or reverence for something (living in the past) or feeling anxious / excited about something (living in the future). When we are present, we are quite literally living in the given moment, and accepting that moment for what it is: good, bad, boring, you name it. Autopilot can often be a form of escape, where I am mentally avoiding the truth of my current reality because I may be bored, may be unfulfilled, or may be uncomfortable. When we avoid the present moment, we become vulnerable to our own ego, or become vulnerable to living in a reactive state.
Reactive states are out of alignment with our inner knowing because we are allowing external influences to tell us how to feel and how to think. In my first blog post, I explained the research behind understanding how we are not our thoughts, and that by recognizing ourselves as the thinker of our thoughts, we become the architects + engineers of our own reality. Controlling our inner reality gives us the power to control our external reality, an important tool for progressing and advancing our lives / ourselves closer to our ideal life / self.
You may be asking yourself, how can I be more present? And I ask myself that question every day, to be frank. I call presence a practice because it is something we have to train our brain / our senses to do. Autopilot is actually our default setting, which saves our brain the energy of having to actively participate in the habits + practices that we’re already conditioned to do. When we are present, it is usually because we are experiencing or trying something for the first time and our brain needs to actively participate in said task, in order to learn how to make that new task a default habit that you will be able to achieve on autopilot.
I always think of the first time I drove a car, and how every sound + sight had my emotions + brain completely focused. I was driving that car like it was my only job on this planet, I think I could even feel the energy of my own pinky toe—that focused, that aware of my body. Now, I fall victim to the “how did I even get here” reaction once I’ve arrived at a destination I’m used to driving toward. My brain has put driving in my program as a skill which requires little to no conscious energy to fulfill. This applies to so many daily tasks, like brushing our teeth, tying our shoes, scrambling eggs—all unconscious, learned behaviors.
Back to the question: how can I be more present? How much of my day am I actually living on autopilot? And what am I missing in those moments? Often the mundane moments we overlook could be the moments that spark a certain inspiration, or memory, or call to action that could change the course of our hour, our day, maybe even our lives.
Being present every moment of every day would be exhausting, so that is not what I’m intending for myself or for you or for anyone, really. But the practice of presence can be profoundly effective if utilized throughout each day, and a mental activity which will help you remain an active participant of your life. You are the driver here, in your own life, so we can’t have you zoning out on the road 98% of the time. You’ll find you traversed an entire day, week, month, without really absorbing that passage of time—excluding reactive moments that forced you to become present.
Here are a few ways I’m practicing presence every day, and I hope you’ll use these rituals in your own daily routine to cultivate a more mindful way of living. Life feels fuller when we acknowledge it, and it’s easier to learn, to create, and to grow when we are observing + documenting our experiences. I promise you, you’ll value each day differently when you recognize that every moment is in your sphere of influence, and what’s in your sphere of influence is ultimately in your control.
1). Ask yourself: Where am I right now?
To be present is to be here, mentally + emotionally + physically. Here meaning the exact place in time + space where your body is sitting. Seems kind of dumb at first, to ask yourself where you are (yeah, on my couch, in my car, in line at the grocery store). But where are you, really? If you were asked to document this moment as if it was a pivotal scene in your life story, how would you set the scene?
Wherever you catch yourself, daydreaming or projecting or spacing out, you can bring yourself back to the present moment with this question. Where am I? Then, you can describe what is happening in real time around you. What color are the walls in the room? What smells are you picking up? Are there any sounds unique to this location? How does this energy feel? If you’re sitting, can you feel the materials around you? If you’re outside, where is the sun or the moon in the sky? Are any stars brighter than another? Any trees taller, any flowers you’ve never seen before?
You’re just cataloging all sights + smells + scents, and if you’re eating, tastes, happening in this present moment. You may find something you’ve missed before, you may begin to feel grateful or peaceful, and if you realize you’re uncomfortable, you can evacuate or shift yourself into a more comfortable space.
Try this exercise out even just once a day, and you’ll begin to realize how many places you’ve never really experienced despite having been in them dozens of times before. You might even learn something new about your own home, your yard, your neighborhood. As you practice this kind of sensory presence, you’ll find yourself more aware of your environment as time passes, and more capable of avoiding autopilot / spacing out.
2). Enjoy a meal slowly, quietly, and thoughtfully.
Haven’t we all heard the term “mindless snacking” or “mindless eating” or something similar? Do you ever notice you’ve finished your meal without really tasting it? Has this action ever resulted in over (or maybe even under) eating, because you weren’t truly aware of how the food was affecting you? Or if you even actually liked it? Where were you?
Similar to asking yourself where you are, you can ask yourself how a meal tastes. Not just after the meal, when you’re trying to remember the overall experience, but how does every single bite taste? What are the textures, the flavors, the smells? How are you feeling about these textures, tastes, smells?
While I’m eating breakfast, I like to sit out on my balcony, and savor every bite. I pay attention to how many times I’m chewing each bite, what the food tastes like from start to finish. While I’m enjoying my meal, I’m thinking (or saying aloud if I’m eating with someone else) about how I feel and what I’m experiencing, I add emotion and description to the act of eating. I’m calculating if I’m beginning to feel full, I’m taking pauses between bites and wondering how the aftertaste lingers.
Think of this intuitive eating practice as a mindful way of enjoying your breakfast, your lunch, your dinner, or even a small snack / cup of coffee. Whatever it is, you should slow down and experience it. Food can really become a daily ritual that fulfills your mindfulness practice in the same way meditation, yoga, or breathwork does.
3). Pause and take a deep breath
Too easy, right? To breathe? That thing we do all day every day, that which gives us the oxygen to live? When I’m on autopilot, or when I’m rushing, I often notice that I’ve been holding my breath. How often do I just hold my breath through a moment or through an action, and don’t even realize it until I really need to breathe and don’t know why.
When you’re rushing from task to task, when your schedule is filled to the brim, when you begin to feel outside of yourself with anxiousness, with stress, with overwhelm, the quickest grounding practice is to pause….and take a deep breath.
In your next moment of rush or overwhelm, tell yourself to pause (unless you’re driving, or fulfilling a physical task which would injure you if you just stopped moving, then wait until you’re in a safe space). Once you’ve stood completely still, or even sat down, close your eyes and breathe as deeply as you can. Hold that deep breath for 4 seconds, and release. After you release, tell yourself that you are here, you are safe, you have time. Then do it again—and again, maybe even again—until you’re able to return to your task / schedule / obligation with the clarity that you are in this moment, and no amount of overwhelming brainpower is going to speed up or influence this moment in any way.
This reminder is simple, but it is effective: I am here, I am safe, I have time. External reality doesn’t have to be the only thing catapulting you back into reality. As you practice daily presence, you will be able to call yourself back into your reality. You have that power, in every moment, to be observant, to be awake, to be aware.
These 3 practices are easier said than done, but they’re great for starting small. As the muscle of awareness + mindful living is built over time, you may feel called to try out even deeper means of connecting with your mind / body, like meditation or yoga or breathwork. There are multiple practices that provide the same grounding results as these 3 habits, and I definitely encourage looking into them as you build your own practice.
For now, try practicing presence every day for a week. If you’d like to go further, you can document these experiences in a journal—this gives you the space to narrate and be more descriptive about the moments you’ve encountered throughout your day. Once you’ve practiced presence for a few days in a row, you can ask yourself a few questions:
How has your perception of reality shifted? Are you feeling more grateful? And what for? Are you feeling unfulfilled? If so, what in your reality displeases you and how might you be able to change this now that you’re more aware of it? What have you learned or noticed that you didn’t know before?
Remember that everyday magic can be created + observed, so long as we show up ready to experience + celebrate it. Don’t let the time breeze past you, especially during such a beautiful transition of seasons. Autumn is arguably the best time to remain present + grateful for the moment you are in, and the life you are so lucky to have.
I’m grateful for you, and I’m wishing you a mindful week ahead. I hope you see, taste, smell, feel, and experience something that amazes you. Tell me all about it on Instagram!