courage over comfort
In September, I added the phrase “courage over comfort” to my daily lexicon, and at the time I thought I knew what that meant. In my mind, the phrase indicated that the opposite of comfort is courage, and to be courageous there needs to be some cataclysmic shifting of your energy—wild actions which deliberately make your life uncomfortable. Well being more courageous is already a scary promise to make to yourself, so adding the pressure of courage having to be some grand upheaval of my inner or external reality didn’t make that promise any easier to commit to.
But I was bound and determined to seek courage in all forms every day, as opposed to submitting to comfort. That daily action could be as simple as hopping into my freezing shower without waiting for the water to warm up, or saying something honest to myself + another person when I would typically hold my tongue. These small acts of courage, every day, are similar to cultivating every day magic—a pursuit I’ve dedicated this blog, as well as my life, to manifesting.
Since September, I’ve learned a few things about courage, and I’ve also seen how being more courageous on a micro level could be training for the day I need to be the lion, the pioneer, the hero of my own larger life decisions. We’re often not called to be courageous on a grander scale in our day-to-day life, at least I’m personally not required to be traditionally courageous in my definitively average and privileged white middle-American lifestyle.
There are certainly millions, billions of people on this planet who are challenged by adversity, change, and life-altering actions on a daily basis. I see my own small courage training as leisurely jogging, where some people are in the gym training for the courage Olympics. To commend and support those souls is crucial, in any way you can—to give your intentions + ear + hand when needed is an act of courage as well, because staying quiet or neutral would be opting for comfort instead.
Admittedly, my own larger life decisions feel like an Olympic pursuit, as they’re challenges which I’ve never faced before. In her book Untamed, Glennon Doyle stresses the idea that we are the pioneers of our own lives, because no one has lived through our exact circumstances, our past programming, our own environment of external / internal triggers + doubts + dreams. We can ask others for advice, or utilize the experience shared from others who have been in similar situations.
But that’s the catch… similar doesn’t mean jack shit in comparison to your own life, because it is 100% only yours and no amount of similarity in circumstances can guarantee that someone else has figured out the key to being courageous, or being authentic + successful.
At the end of any day, the actions we do or do not take are completely our own responsibility, and these decisions are made by us alone—even when we’re copying someone else’s formula exactly, that’s a decision we had to make in place of developing our own solutions.
So courage is wild, especially when we’re technically in it alone. There are plenty of paths we walk with others, which is what makes our relationships to our blood + chosen family integral to our life experience. There can be an audience as well, but that isn’t always a good thing. While 2 people in the stands of your Living Authentically Marathon might be wildly cheering you on, wearing “we love your authentic path” t-shirts, and plan to see you through to the finish line...there are even more people who are displeased with your trajectory, your pace, your form, the color of your joggers.
So you’re running that grueling authenticity marathon while dodging the hurling, plump red tomatoes of other people's fears, judgements, and opinions. Those tomatoes are literal projections of outside perspectives smashing violently into your skin, probably making it harder to stay on pace or stay on your path. The courageous runner keeps going despite the mess—courage over comfort! Staying clean + standing in place is definitely choosing to remain comfortable and won’t be getting you anywhere meaningful on your path.
Now that we’ve recognized living a courageous life can feel like dodging produce in a marathon that never ends, don’t you feel motivated to be more courageous yourself? Okay, I’ll try a different metaphor. Being courageous is pioneering your own authentic path, a journey guided by the ambiguous but ever-present intuition within yourself—”the answers come from within,” you hate to hear it. I’ve touched on how mindfulness and intentional introversion can help you tune into that inner guiding light in previous blog posts, so I encourage you to visit those links and find out more about living from intuition and finding alignment with your inner knowing.
Through daily courage, and the practices I’ve shared in those previous blog posts, you may begin to understand your own authentic code. Definitely not in its entirety, because expansion in your life and in yourself is inevitable when you’re on the path to becoming your authentic self—growth will always change the code, or reveal new portions of it to you. Notice that all of these practices begin from within, before there is courageous action there comes courageous thought, courageous inquiry, courageous inner rhythm.
That’s another thing about courage and authenticity, it is often thankless work. Meditating on your feelings, sitting in your own shit, spending time understanding what makes you who you really are… these things do not come with an audience. Sure, there will be guaranteed instances where your acts of courage are on display, or in service of others, or might require an accolade / award of some sort...but that daily courage, that training in authenticity, happens between you and your highest self.
So the more relaxing, but maybe less motivating, metaphor for authenticity is that your own courage is like an isolated mountain stream. No one thanks the stream for flowing, at least not in this metaphor, but without fail it will continue. Without applause, that ecosystem will uphold its own duty. The stream isn’t trying to be a tidal wave of salty ocean water, or as serene + still as an indoor YMCA pool during adult swim.
That stream, without example and without congratulations, is exactly how it should be. That is true authenticity, doing what you must + doing what you were made to do, with or without the eyes, ears, or encouragement of others.
What I’ve learned about courage during my own pilgrimage toward my most authentic self:
#1 courage can be a whisper, not just a roar
The small acts of courage, the freezing shower, the honest conversation, the new workout video, the first date, the seemingly gross but probably delicious foods you try, those are all small acts of courage—training for the big game, the big decisions, the tougher trials. Courage is that smaller voice, the one encouraging you to act, easily drowned out by the chaotic yelling of fear from yourself + others. Listen to the smaller voice, become the bigger person.
#2 My advice on courage doesn’t mean jack shit, because your own authenticity belongs entirely to you + your highest self.
Get the joke? My insight here in this post, your parents insight, your boss / friends / really nosy neighbor’s insight really cannot define authenticity for you. These answers actually do come within, when we’re willing to slow down and listen. If courage is a whisper, you won’t believe how quiet your intuition is...maybe even just a vibration under your skin. That voice can get louder, once you honor what it’s asking from you.
#3 An authentic life path is vulnerable to the fear + doubt of others, and you’ll be constantly dodging them.
Following an authentic path is a lifelong marathon and opinions are a lot like bags of tomatoes, everyone has one—that version isn’t as fun, but you get it. Remaining on your authentic path no matter how many people think they know better than you is an act of courage. Facing the mess will be worth moving closer to what you truly desire, and for every tomato thrown there will be a rose landing shortly ahead.
#4 Your life-long pursuit of authenticity is often thankless work.
The fact that you’re in it alone shouldn’t be discouraging or isolating in the slightest. You, like that mountain stream, have a purpose so deeply encoded within you that only you know what to do with it—no need for external validation or opinions when you’re in flow. You are programmed to become exactly who you are, and every day you can do the work to return back to that innate calling.
#5 As you change, your idea of what is courageous + authentic will change as well.
Isn’t it amazing, that you will continue to morph as you pioneer your own life? Isn’t pioneering your own life way sexier then simply living it, or getting by, or surviving? I don’t know about you, but I’m always down to romanticize my own life however I can. When the courageous path seems dull, or change feels daunting, try to imagine yourself as an intuitive light on a pilgrimage toward everything you’ve ever wanted, and possibly finding even more you didn’t know you wanted or needed along the way.
Embrace the idea that your wants + needs will change as you change, because complacency is comfort...and we want to choose courage over comfort every time we have the energetic space to do so.
I know I told you my advice means jack shit, but I hope you found some value + motivation from my own experience of learning how to be courageous, or even opinions you’d like to reject—authenticity is staying true to what works best for you, your inner knowing. Next time you’re faced with a decision, big or small, consider how you may be able to choose courage over comfort and go for it.
Good luck continuing to run this marathon, and thank you for letting me keep pace beside you through this post. Now imagine that I’m in the stands, rocking a hobby lobby puff-painted fruit of the loom t-shirt with “you’re a badass” poorly rendered across the chest—don’t expect anything fancy from me, I promised you everyday magic, not everyday arts + crafts.
Courage over comfort, fam! Take some calculated risks this week, and let me know on instagram what authenticity means to you.