Fight for your Right to Happiness

Let’s start this out with a personal story, fam. At the lowest point in my mental health, the best part of my day was getting in bed to go to sleep. From the moment I opened my eyes, I imagined my future self laying back down to sleep that night. Essentially, I would wake up and immediately discredit the entire day ahead of me, longing to be back asleep.

That version of myself deserves my patience and forgiveness today. But how did I go from dreading my waking hours, to now feeling so stoked for a new day that I find it hard to fall asleep at night? You know that feeling when you were a kid and you tried to force yourself to sleep on Christmas Eve but your nerves were electrified by the excitement of waking up on Christmas morning? You wished you could just shut your eyes and bam! you’d teleport into the next day! That’s how (almost) every night feels for me now. I long to skip the sleep and wake up for a new day of exciting possibilities. How the hell did that happen? 

It sure as hell didn’t happen over night. I didn’t just close my eyes and teleport into the version of myself who enjoys being awake and living each day with purpose. Over the past two years, the shift has been gradual. So gradual that it took looking back from today to realize all of the puzzle pieces that fell into place and changes I made on a daily basis. I wasn’t aware of what I was doing in the moment, I didn’t start a new habit thinking “man, this is the stepping stone to the next habit, and that habit perpetuates this behavior, and by X day I’ll have X amount of happiness.” It wasn’t at all that calculated or complicated, it was one simple idea.

I began to realize that every day could be the best day of my life if only I could think that it was. That’s it! Simple, right?

I know, it’s easier said than done, and I’m in a position now where 2 years of progress gives me the confidence to call it simple. The idea of self-improvement and productivity and goal crushing and hustling and yada yada is so daunting, we become paralyzed by the insecurity about where to start or how to start or who to listen to or if we’ll get it wrong. I know I always longed for the ONE THING that could instantly hurl me into the person I wanted to be: happier, healthier, more creative, more confident.

Because I didn’t know where to start, I decided to not start. Each day, I continued to be the same person with the hopes a magical lamp would appear into my life and an abundance genie would grant me that ultimate wish, or that I’d pick up a winning lottery ticket and use that new fortune to finally transform. But what I never did? Anything that made me feel happier, healthier, more creative, or more confident. I began each day already defeated, living in a constant loop of unmotivated, uninspired, and miserable thoughts.  

There are thousands of books, podcasts, blogs, brands, and challenges which promise to take us from who we are now to who we want to be. We look at who we are now, and then we think of who we’d like to be (or someone we’d like to model) and see a Grand-Canyon-size gap between us. That gap looks like an impossible leap! How could I ever jump so far? There’s no way I’d muster up the strength to make it to the other side, I’ve skipped leg day for 3 years. The only way to close that gap is to realize that it doesn’t exist. If there’s no gap, then there’s nothing to separate who you are now from who you want to be. That’s the transformation! You don’t change by jumping the gap, you change by shifting the way you see it. YOU decide that you’re already on the other side. The gap is an illusion and the leap happens within.

In my last blog post, I told you that life is very easy and the only person telling you that life is hard is the downer in your head and the downer in the heads of those who have influenced you. She’s back? I thought we got rid of her! Surprise! The downer in your head—your Ego—is back and stronger than ever, baby! And that Grand Canyon between you and your best self? It’s your Ego. She shape shifted into a massive canyon to separate who you think you are now from who you want to be. Why’d she do that? Well, she’s trying to protect you. Your Ego lives in survival mode, so any changes you’re trying to make in your life are seen as threats to your safety and your Ego wants to keep you safe—comfort zone. So metaphorically, the idea of being happier and tapping into your limitless potential is no different to your Ego than the idea of jumping off a cliff. 

I want to reiterate, and I want you to say it out loud to yourself right now, that the gap is an illusion and the leap happens within. The catalyst for your transformation is to change the way you think and the way you speak to yourself. The decision to think something new is simple, but the constant repetition of your new way of thinking is the work. You will have to fight your Ego, the doubt within yourself, the doubts others may have, every single day.

Your mind and your foundation of self requires your attention and your intention—you run this shit! You have 100% responsibility over what you believe and how you perceive things. This is so essential to up-leveling, because outside circumstances that are out of your control will always be a great excuse not to change. 

But that’s the thing, external circumstances are OUT of your CONTROL! What’s in your control is how you perceive them and how you talk to yourself about these things.

Perpetuating low self worth will always be the default until you decide to take back the wheel and shove your Ego in the trunk. This happens through self-awareness, self-reflection, and absolute devotion. And you should be devoted to your inner being because that’s your identity. Who you are is how you show up in the world, who you are is how you take action, who you are is how you make the impact that you’re dreaming of. Who you are is entirely your responsibility, and holding yourself accountable is how you coach yourself. Yes, it’s tough love. Yes, I’m only two years into my journey and still get wildly mean thoughts / criticisms from my Ego on a daily basis. But changing those thoughts is really a muscle that you work on, and you work on it every day—for you. You change the way you think out of compassion, from a place of love, from a place of encouragement. As you’re making shifts internally, I can guarantee that your actions will change to fit this new standard, and those actions will cause your external circumstances to change. Myself and all the people I see as role models + mentors are prime examples of this.

We’ve all seen “change starts from within” or some variation of it on Pinterest, Instagram, decorative signs at Hobby Lobby—you know the ones. It’s a cliche because it’s true. Changing the way you think about your life and yourself is the first domino to fall on the insanely exciting + fulfilling path to changing your life and finding your purpose.

Once you’ve made the decision to change, you need to show up every moment of every day to defend that decision with your life. Because it is your life, and it only happens in this moment. 

Next week, I’ll dive into some daily habits that help me fight for my right to happiness and keep the momentum going. All you’ll need is a journal, a pen, and that cool new set of thoughts in your head.

Until then, I want you to fight for yourself and your right to happiness. Do it by being present and introspective about each obstacle you face—even the small ones, like stubbing your toe or getting dry shampoo on a black t-shirt— and each thought that comes in your head (cause remember, you aren’t your thoughts, so you’ll have to fight those too). 

But you’re a Mystic Maven so your success in this fight is guaranteed, all you have to do is start. 

Now go and create the best week of your life, fam!